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824 notes

animalstalkinginallcaps:

OH MY GOD! DALE! SERIOUSLY! WE WENT ON LIKE, ONE DATE, OKAY? I DELETED MY MATCH.COM PROFILE RIGHT AFTERWARDS BECAUSE I HATED IT SO MUCH. IT’S SWEET THAT YOU BROUGHT ME LUNCH BUT NO, ALL RIGHT? JUST NO.
AND HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE?
CREEPTOWN. POPULATION:YOU.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

OH MY GOD! DALE! SERIOUSLY! WE WENT ON LIKE, ONE DATE, OKAY? I DELETED MY MATCH.COM PROFILE RIGHT AFTERWARDS BECAUSE I HATED IT SO MUCH. IT’S SWEET THAT YOU BROUGHT ME LUNCH BUT NO, ALL RIGHT? JUST NO.

AND HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE?

CREEPTOWN. POPULATION:YOU.

62 notes

biomedicalephemera:

“Surgical Appliance” designed by A. V. Todd
Patent No. 742,814 

My invention relates generally to improvements in surgical appliances for the prevention and cure of spermatorrhea, and more specifically to devices to prevent masturbation. The instrument is intended for use until the aforsaid habit is mastered or overcome.

The main feature of the device consists of a shield preferably composed of wire in the form of a coil, the said shield being only of sufficient length to accommodate the male organ of generation when in its normal condition, the shield being, however, capable of elongation, as circumstances may require. The shield is provided with a removable electric belt or band at its base and is connected with a pad, the latter being held in place by straps and bands. A metallic suspensory connected with the belt may be employed, if desired.

Emphasis mine.

Found in the vast repository of patents on Google.

65 notes

stfusexists:

thegeniuswaitress:

The good news is my Black Swan makeup looks totally rad
The bad news is I now have to sit around my apartment watching tv and making a lasagna looking like a deranged ballerina  
Life is a series of trade offs I guess

If you’ve ever read STFU Sexists and wondered what I’m like as a person
Here you go.

stfusexists:

thegeniuswaitress:

The good news is my Black Swan makeup looks totally rad

The bad news is I now have to sit around my apartment watching tv and making a lasagna looking like a deranged ballerina  

Life is a series of trade offs I guess

If you’ve ever read STFU Sexists and wondered what I’m like as a person

Here you go.